The “Inn” and out of the weekend
This weekend April and I stayed in the Heron Room at the Inn at Barnum Point on Camano Island. Great little house, the sole house on Barnum Point.
We got there late and had trouble finding it at first. It was a little funny trying to find it in the dark; we were having a good time on the way. We stayed in the Heron Room upstairs. We were excited at having cable tv but only watched one show, in which I missed half of it from dozing off. We went to bed about 11 p.m. or so. I didn't sleep so well on the bed and my back was really hurting. I finally got up at 7:30 a.m. and curled up in the comfy bathrobe that was there, and my blanket and began to read some more of "He Loves Me." I looked out the windows (there were three I could see from the armchair) and it was gray and a beautiful morning on the edge of the sea. The tide was starting to come in a bit but there was one patch of gravel. Sure enough, I saw a Heron. I dozed off and on before getting up and getting ready. We went down for breakfast, which was wonderfully done and homemade.
Carolyn, the owner, showed us a mammoth tooth found on the property and shared many stories, including how the more than 200 acres has been in her family for 3 generations. She loved to tell stories and we learned a great deal about the area and some of the news from the night before. Her family still owns most of the land her home is on, though sadly, not all the children of her and her siblings see the value in the land.
Before we left, we explored her grounds a bit. The beach was filled with bleached driftwood. The gray had rolled away to display the beautiful blue sky. Part of the land the Inn is on is an orchard. She had several apple trees in her yard which we got to eat apples off of one of them. Checking for worms is a good idea, Carolyn said.
We went to Camano Beach, a state park, and walked down to the water. I spent a good hour and a half under this tree, enjoying the sun, shade, sounds of the waves lapping onto the beach, worshipping the Lord and spending some time with Him processing some things. I still have much to process.
I love waves, ocean and the sounds... and trees! I love the smell of the sea....
July 8, 2009
It's amazing to me how the Lord orchestrates things. He began to join my heart to the people at CCM long before I knew I'd be attending there under Pastor Dustin and Misty. I felt drawn to a number of people from work and wasn't quite sure why (they are great people but there are a few from work that I have felt such a drawing to, some to the point of having to get together outside of work). But now I know. I'm so looking forward to settling in to CCM and becoming a part of the body. I'm also looking forward to seeing where I can serve. This time is so bittersweet. I'll miss seeing other friends, hearing Pastor Norm and others speak, and so many people worshipping, but I'm so excited to see where the Lord takes CCM. To new heights, greater impartation and revelation, and new growth!
Merry Christmas!! There's no place like home...
Well, it has been a long time since I've posted. I usually don't have any extra time in life. This is good though, to have a break. However this break didn't come without some hardships.
Yesterday was Christmas Eve. I worked half a day at the clinic and then paniced a little thinking I was going to be late for the train. Mark and Lisa were giving me a ride which I was grateful for but I had been holding out so much hope for getting home for Christmas that I was so nervous about not making it for various reasons. All sorts of scenarios were playing in my head. I was really looking forward to coming home for Christmas. But even with the weather they got me to the train station with an hour to spare! The train was scheduled to leave Seattle at 5:30 p.m. I found out that the train was an hour and a half late. Well, that'd make its new time to leave around 7 p.m. So much for that. We boarded at 8:30 p.m. We LEFT Seattle at 9:23. I arrived in Kelso at 12:30 a.m. What a day! By the time I got on the train my back, neck and shoulders were killing me! I fell asleep on the train and was lucky to wake up in time to get off at Kelso (I slept hard!) and then called my parents to pick me up. Surprisingly they were still awake.
My migraine came back today. I've had it ebbing off and on for the last 3 days. I was not happy when it raised its ugly head this morning. I've spent all day on Christmas trying to get rid of it. But I'm feeling much better now.
It was really funny though because here I was half asleep and I remembered something I was supposed to show April how to do for clinic tomorrow that I totally forgot to do. So I put in a call to home... no one is as concerned about it as I am.... Problem with anxiety? Me? Really? Can't imagine... (tongue in cheek)
Mom and I are going shopping tomorrow. I need boots that fit. With all the snow we've been having I've been having some feet issues because my boots are too loose. I'm looking forward to getting a good pair of hiking boots that will double for the winter and snow.
Okay, so enough of the random thoughts... good night!
Wilberforce and Giants
I have to say there was a part that really stuck out to me from an email from The Truth Project:
We face similar giants in our land today. Giants that are big. Giants that are strong. Giants who, as in the time of Wilberforce, occupy the land and hold the upper hand.
You, no doubt, know most of them. You can name them. In fact, I would recommend you do so. After dinner tonight, have your family list them. Then, go back over the list and ask these questions: Which ones are greater than God? Which ones are beyond His power, through His chosen vessels, to subdue?
The answer? None.
The real question is which one does God want me to take on? Which one does He want to make a "great object" in my life?
My prayer is that we would be a people who would go before God, as Wilberforce did, and ask Him to give us a charge. Pick out a giant or two, based upon His individual gifts and calling in your life. Maybe it is a personal giant that has, for years, been wreaking havoc with your life. Maybe it is a giant that has destroyed a relationship between you and a loved one. Maybe God will call you to fight one of the great giants that currently hold the upper hand in our culture.
Regardless of which giant you are called to engage--engage. Don't run away. Don't hide. Don't listen to the call of the world to just pursue our own peace and affluence.
I've been feeling like the Lord has really been after me and I've been ignoring Him to some degree. Yes, I have my quiet time and He has spoken but what I am really evaluating is the areas where I have grown complacent and apathetic. Is it just ritual? What are those giants? Why have I made peace with them?
I heard the Lord say this morning "I have never left you" and "I want to pierce your heart". The first was significant because lately I have felt far from Him and as though He turned his face from me. The second was because I have felt as though my heart has been seared some and I have closed off my heart. So, Lord, do what you will now. I am ready to face my giants and engage.
The big announcment
Yesterday was a big day for me. I went to announce to Diana, Sharon, and Grant – my other full time coworkers – that I was leaving Sylvan Learning Center. Initially Sharon and Diana and I were eating lunch and I asked Grant to join us. Patrick (the owner) and Sue (my supervisor) had joined our group. Sharon’s first comment was “today is Tuesday, right?” Usually the only time all of us are together like that is for our weekly staff meeting. When I said I had news, Diana’s face lit up thinking I was about to announce that I was courting. Later Sharon said "well, I knew it wasn't that she was pregnant” to which Diana said, "Stephanie, I'd like you to know that you being pregnant NEVER crossed my mind” and then Sharon laughed and said that since I already ruled out courtship and of course I couldn't be pregnant (she couldn't figure out what my news could be). It was a bittersweet time. But I’m looking forward to what is on the horizon. There will be hardships, I’m sure. Things will be different with people, going from education to medical, the change in finances and relationships, but I know this is the will of the Lord. For three years it was the desire of my heart to work for Dr. Frank and for three years he and Rita were watching me and waiting. The timing of the Lord is perfect. I have to learn to trust it.
Will there ever be a time...
... when my life is not swamped?
I'm learning to come to terms with the fact that I will not have a time of complete rest and I'm learning how to "rest on the run" if you will. Which leads to an interesting conversation about "what is rest?"
Things are a bit tense at work lately. Our center director, Sue, has been hit with a lot lately and there are so many things that are not going well during our growing pains and her training time, that I'm sure she's frustrated. While I'm sympathetic to that, I have the greater question before me. How can I solidify what I do? How can things that go chaotic when I am not here (such as testing) move to order so that Sylvan isn't in turmoil when I'm not working there?
This and another project not Sylvan related has shown me more and more that we truly do nothing outside of prayer. In and of myself and my strength I can do nothing and I have no good solution -- no God solution, but only man's solution. I need Him more than ever.
How can people live without the Lord and not go crazy? I don't know....
Firestorm at CCK
So, what can I say about Firestorm... WOW... let's say it again backwards ... WOW!!
Firestorm was nearly three weeks ago. I find that after people come and prophecy and heal, etc. I have to really fight to keep that word and put it into practice.
Firestorm was the same weekend as the food drive and while my schedule for the weekend was crazy, the Lord's grace was so evident. However, I also knew that it was my greatest week of attack. Relational things came up but God also used that week to reveal fears and lack of trust and I saw much rise up in me. During the week the Lord just poured into me more identity on who I am in Him and how I was doing part of what I was created to do. I was also very blessed to have Katy M. and others to encourage me through the week and through the uncertain times. They were definitely a Godsend.
Awhile back April made the suggestion that I quit carrying my heavy laptop on my back and put it in my laptop bag on wheels. So I did. But Thursday night, as I was getting ready to leave work, I put the bag on my shoulder (along with three other bags) and felt my back tweak and the bags dropped to the floor.
My back was sore .... really sore .... the next day. I went into food drive full of hope but realistically still in a lot of pain. Friday night's Firestorm meeting was great. Saturday night after food drive the emotions of all that happened got the better of me and I cried. I was prayed for regarding my back first by Dr. Rand and then later, as others began to dance in a circle and in the aisles after prayer up front, Pastor Kevin began to pray for my back, not stopping. I was in such pain I felt I couldn't dance and move as I wanted to while everyone else was around me. At the end, Kevin Dedmon made the comments, "some of you will be healed on your way home, some will be healed as you sleep tonight, some will be healed over the next days, weeks and months." Pastor Kevin turned to me and said "Take that word! That word is for you!" I did and I went home and cried out to the Lord. The next morning I woke up and 90% of the pain was gone. I was a bit nervous the next morning (which was Sunday) going into worship. I wanted the freedom to dance if I felt moved to. I felt the Lord say my healing would come in my abandoning myself in worship to Him. And it did! I danced and danced and the pain was gone. Even since then there was a time when I felt the soreness begin to return and I once again turned myself over to Him in worship and pain left me. He is so good!
Sunday night Pastor Kevin D. preached on joy and being drunk in the Spirit. The motto? Get Drunk, Stay Drunk, Get Others Drunk!!
My mind went back to a rap song I listened to (yes, I listened to Christian rap in one part of my life! :D). The words are below.
TBONE >> Drunk in the Spirit
Once again I gots to grab the mic
and start to bring the funky
I don't know whats happening
but I'm really kinda drunk in the spirit
cuz' I'm not talking about no type of liquor
the Holy Ghost is the one that gets me drunk much quicker
so let me go ahead and grab the mic and flow
driving drifle style that you ain't hearing about
cuz' I be into doing brand new things
I bring the styles and Muffler brings the jazzy swings
Like the one that you be hearing in the background
Styles like a moaning and a whole strictly underground
But we be kicking all of these styles on purpose
Never repeat myself and save them lyrics that be worthless
Cuz I be talking about the Great I am, My Savior
The one who gets me drunk constantly
I should be arrested for being under the influence of the Word
Spiritually hungover
Got me throwing up by the curb
And now the devil wants to make me walk the plank
But I punch him in the lip and take another sip
We'll be drunk in the Spirit,
you can find T-Bone staggering with the funny sway
We'll be drunk in the Spirit
La De Da La De Da La De De De La De Day
I don't know how to explain the way I feel
My mind is going underground
All I know is that I am about to fall and hit the ground
Cuz' my body keeps swaying like a boat
It won't stay still
I'm feeling totally dizzy
the room is spinning like a windmill
It all started when the pastor laid his hands on me
he said "there it goes right through you"
it made my mind go boo ya
So here I am in the studio drawn back a ryhmying note
flipped by the Holy Ghost so I be feeling totally fine, yo
La De Da
It makes me want to sing
about the joy he brings
when I do my rappin' thing
The way I feel right now
I wish that you could all feel
the power of the Spirit
thats more stronger then Tequila
cuz' nothing compares to the soul that goes drunk
thats the way that I feel right now
makes me wonder how
God could have the power
to make a man feel this way
so pass me the Holy water
cuz' I don't drink no Tangorade |
What if.....
I'm very frustrated this morning. First my car locks froze and it took me forever to get work, then I realize I left my cell phone at home and we still haven't heard from the owner who is supposed to ultimately decide if we're open or not. I guess maybe I'm upset about having to come in. It stresses me out to drive in the weather like this ... it stresses me out to walk in it, to be honest. I think there's the same fear I had after I got in a car accident. It's a fear that says "what if". What if I fall down and hurt my back? or break a leg? or sprain an ankle? What if? There's also a part of me that says I'm not well balanced, its hard for me to walk confidently in the snow... how do others do it? Why can't I?
I am feeling very vulnerable today.
.jpg)
