My Daddy's a King

Ever have one of those days...

How about one of those years?

I'm not happy at work right now. I feel as though the quality is lacking and I greatly dislike feeling like things are slipping. Today wasn't a particularly good day to be thinking about this stuff .... our puller called in because her back was hurting. So I'm pulling and ironically, it's the one day that my back is killing me from working late on my laptop in bed last night. I need to sleep with a heating pad tonight to help ease the pain.

I know that one of the lies that comes in is that I'm all alone when I'm at work. There are times I feel as though I'm wading through peanut butter and no one knows, understands or cares. I understand intellectually that everyone else is feeling the same but I feel as though no one is willing to stand up and speak out about it. And who am I that I should? And what would be the proper way to do that? Should anything be said at all?

Liz told me I needed to just relax. I get too uptight. That is certainly NOT what I want to be known for. But if just relaxing means lowering the standards, I don't think so. I won't do that. What's the balance with grace and expectation?

I'm tired. That isn't helping, I'm sure. I feel weary today, physically and emotionally. But no time to deal with that.... I need to go pull and prepare myself for my BLS meeting. I find it so amusing (NOT!) that my BLS meetings always seem to be on the worst days at work.

What are you after Lord? What is in me that is so wrong to deserve all this? I say I believe you are good in all you bring to me but right now I am not sure I believe that. I feel picked on. Help me, Lord! I need your comfort and your deliverance if I'm to survive. I want to do more than just "hang in there". I want to overcome!

posted by imallforgod @ 6:29 PM